Over
the years automakers the world over have used animal names to
describe their newest cars. These names are supposed to immortalize the
true essence of these cars and portray to their owners the
automobiles inner spirit. More often than not however these names are
ill-seated at best and unfortunately at the end of the day, don’t do
the poor animal any justice at all. Below is a listing of 20 cars that
have taken their names from members of the wild kingdom. Some are
appropriate, others, well… not so much. Either way though you can’t
blame the manufacturers from trying to put a little personality into
their rides.
# Pinto

Pinto’s,
the four legged ones are considered to be light, fast and beautiful
to look at. The one Ford gave us however gained its reputation because
it blew up if a feather so much as landed on its rear bumper. Great
name, but bad execution.
# Shelby Cobra

Probably
one of the few cars that is actually deserving of its name. The
Shelby Cobra packed a 427 cu in big block that would bite you back if
you weren’t careful. In fact these cars were so good at killing their
owners that they were dubbed the “Widow Maker”.
# Ford Mustang

A
great looking horse and a great looking car. The Ford Mustang is one
of those rare marketing success stories that has stood the test of time
by living up to its name in the fullest sense.
# Ford Raptor

It
goes off-road just like its prehistoric cousin. It’s fast, agile and
can also take abuse. But where this sucker drinks fossil fuel, its
namesake IS fossil fuel… crazy right.
# Mercury Cougar
Oh
she’s a Cougar all right, and she’ll rip you apart if she gets the
chance. I remember in high school my math teacher had a cloud blue one
and dammit it she didn’t live up to its name!
# Chevrolet Cheetah
The
Cheetah was Chevy’s attempt at combating Shelby’s Cobra. It was fast,
but unlike the Cobra the Cheetah simply didn’t have the visceral pop
needed to take the kill-all crown.
# Jaguar
Another
car fitting of its name. Like the big cats, these cars are elegant,
graceful and when pushed, can be made vicious. Another marketing
success story.
# Dodge Ram
Like
the big horn sheep these guys are named after, Ram trucks have always
been tough as nails. The four legged kind however usually do better
in head-on collisions.
# Plymouth Barracuda
The
first generation Barracuda’s did not live up to their flashy
namesake. In fact it wasn’t really until 1970 that these really got
some style infused into them. Generation 1′s looked more like a
fishbowl, than a fast fish.
# VW Beetle
The name fit perfectly, nuff said.
# Ford Falcon
A
cute little car no doubt, but unfortunately the Falcon did not possess
the flying pedigree that its winged counterpart did. In short, they
were pretty damn slow in stock form.
# Chevrolet Impala
At
18-feet long these suckers didn’t handle like an Impala, but over the
years Chevy dropped in some big-block mills that sure as hell made
them move like them in a straight line. These were all beautiful cars,
right up until 1999, when Chevy started making them look like jelly
beans. Damn shame really…
# Studebaker Lark
It’s
short, pudgy and is in no way graceful. The little Lark was a
experiment that just fell out of the nest and unfortunately hit the
ground hard!
# Volkswagen Fox
Small, nimble and quick, the VW Fox was a great little economy car that had good looks and great road manners.
# Volkswagen Rabbit
The
VW Rabbit was basically a VW Fox without the trunk, and was a total
chick car if you got it in the cabriolet variant. It was also cute and
cuddly, just like the furry real thing.
# Road Runner
It
had a horn just like the cartoon Road Runner, but unlike its cartoon
counterpart this one was not cute by any means. It was big, brash and
in your face and with its wicked air-grabber hood could probably
swallow its feathered friend whole if it came upon it quick enough.
# Corvette Stingray
It’s
beautiful from every angle, graceful and exudes power out of every
seam. The Corvette Stingray is yet another instance of an automobile
being named perfectly.
# Mercury Sable
Where
people make fur coats out of the furry cuddly kind, these Sables were
more fitting of elderly people with white hair. There was nothing
sexy about it and unfortunately that held true for the people that
drove them.
# AMC Marlin
Another fishbowl in a sea of misappropriated names. The Marlin was not powerful, handsome or fast. It just simply “was”…
# Hudson Hornet

How
the hell do you name a 5000 lbs. super canoe a “Hornet”? I mean
really, naming it the Armadillo would have been a better move, jeesh…
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